In Japan, a man named Tetsu Yamada chose to stay separately from his wife. But, the plan backfired.
In Japan, the concept is called sotsukon. In this, couples stay married but live apart for freedom. The idea, first introduced in 2004, has become common among older couples.
Yamada retired at 60 after working in manufacturing and received a 50 million yen (nearly ₹3 crore) pension along with savings. He wanted to move with his wife Keiko to his rural hometown. Their old family house was still in good condition.
Keiko, used to city life in Tokyo, refused. Their two sons also lived and worked in Tokyo. Instead, she suggested sotsukon, which Yamada accepted as easier than divorce. However, his new life did not turn out as planned.
Yamada used his pension to renovate and hoped for a calm life. Without his wife managing household work, he failed with simple chores and survived on instant noodles and frozen vegetables, according to the South China Morning Post.
Meanwhile, his wife Keiko thrived in Tokyo with her handmade workshop. Though they occasionally connect online, he rarely speaks to their sons.
“It seems that, even without me, she looks very happy,” the publication quoted Yamada as saying.
Yamada admitted to loneliness and regret. He now has a feeling that his family no longer needs him. It remains uncertain if he will return to Tokyo.
Social media reactions
“Yamada thought he was starting a second life, but without life skills, leaving his family turned out to be a disaster,” SCMP quoted a social media user as saying.
Another user commented, “Some people are not suited for graduating from marriage. They haven’t even learned how to love and cherish,” said a third.
“Let’s wish Keiko well. She no longer has to care for others and can focus on her own hobbies,” came from another.
Japanese women on sotsukon
A 2014 survey by Interstation asked 200 married Japanese women aged 30s to 60s about sotsukon. Around 56.8% wanted it. Most, about 35%, preferred between 60 and 65, after husbands’ retirement.
Their main reason was the wish to enjoy life freely, without serving the daily needs of husbands or children. The results showed rising interest in independence.
“I love my husband, but living together in the same house all the time, we take each other for granted. Living apart would make us appreciate and like each other more,” said one of the responses.
